The Uncrowned King
By C. J. Strong
Sometimes toughness is synonymous
with stupidity, and this was just the case with Gerald G. Griswold or Jerry as
some would call him. Jerry was a basic man with basic qualities. In fact, the
only thing that wasn’t basic about Jerry was his temperament. He once killed a
man solely because he was wearing a nicer hat than he was.
Gerald was born to a small family
with little to no money to their name. Which is what made Gerald’s story so
impressive. He came from nothing, yet by the time he was sixteen he had already
a hundred soldiers under him. This was because he joined the Royal Army at the
ripe age of fourteen, which wasn’t unheard of back then. Once he joined, his
bloodlust for battle quickly got him a bad reputation. He slayed his way to the
top, being as cut throat as possible. Once he had enough soldiers under his
command, he split from the Royal Army to create a new organization. Of course,
this meant he and his men would become outlaws, but none of that really phased
Gerald.
After he formed his new group, they
ransacked village after village, living on supplies from town to town.
Eventually they struck deals with certain particular villages that caught his
eye, recruiting every able body to join his cause. Jerry, at the age of eighteen,
had become a tyrant.
It was at this stage in life that
Jerry finally began to mellow out. Sure he was still on the run, and his
followers fought and sacrificed their lives each and every day, but he had
finally felt content with what he had accomplished. Although he tore his
country apart, he did so complacently. According to him, it was just something
that had to be done.
His numbers grew so much, that by a
year’s time, most of the Royal Army had laid down their arms. It wasn’t before
long that the king himself had ordered all remaining troops to retreat. Gerald
really did have his own piece of the world. Unfortunately, the house he grew up
in and the small remote village that he come from was on the Royal Army’s side
and everyone he ever knew had most likely been executed, but he wasn’t very
close with them anyway.
Gerald ruled with an iron fist,
sentencing all criminals to death. Ironically, almost all of his soldiers that
fought for him were also criminals, so it was only a matter of time before most
of them were exterminated. It was because of this actually, that eventually led
to his downfall.
He got pretty lonely ruling alone so
he decided to take up a wife, six of them total. Each lasted about a year
before he grew tired of them and so he just locked them away in his castle.
After the 6th one, he had ran out of rooms to put them in so he
decided to let them all go free… Just kidding he actually killed them all.
Brutally murdered each one while making the others watch, but even then he didn’t
quite feel satisfied. Something always escaped him and it wasn’t until he had
been ruling for nearly a decade that he realized what it was. A crown!
So after ordering all of his
remaining troops to impregnate every single women he ruled over. Which in reality
caused a lot more troops to die due to them fighting over who they wanted, but
he was finally ready to go to war once more.
Since his reign of terror, the Royal
Army had bolstered its forces considerably, expecting an inevitable attack once
more from Gerald the Cunt. Just to be clear, the Army gave him this nickname
because they had narrowed down where he had come from to a small village called
Cuntherum. Which as it turns out, wasn’t even where he originated from, but all
those people of Cuntherum suffered a horrendous amount of torture and execution
for a simple mistake.
When Gerald and his armies finally
did attack, the Royal Armies dominated them. Huge bloodbaths occurred, which
almost made Jerry smile had it not been for that it was his men dying.
Eventually he was captured and brought in front of the Royal King and his council.
Since the war only lasted a few
months, Gerald still had a lot of bloodlust in him. As it turns out, he had
quite the following from within the army still. One of the jihadists broke him
out of his cage just before his revealing to the king. As the Royal King called
for Gerald to be brought out, Gerald called for his head from behind the
throne. And, in one fowl swoop it was so. The same soldier who broke him out,
betrayed the Royal King and took his head in front of the council. Gerald of
course called for everyone to either pledge allegiance to him or lose their
lives, and most of which chose the former.
At last he had it all, an
entire country bent to his will. He lived out the rest of his days a finally
happy man, as he sat on the Throne of Corpses. It was a truly historic moment
in time and something that haunts the record books forever. Based on a true
story.
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